The redhead sometimes really doesn't like being a redhead.

     And it is rare--but at those small rare moments I find slipping through the cracks of my pride I lose it.
I can barely ever hide from things physically because my hair is like a huge flame throwing eyes immediately to it, making old ladies stop me in the street to talk to me about how they had hair just like me when they were little and you know, I'm fine with that. Afterall, most of the time, I'm lost and when I'm not I always like compliments on my parents genes going around and I like sweet little old ladies (Who doesn't? They're adorable!).
     But this rare ginger hating moment stems not from my actual hair, oh no no no, it stems from the indications of my hair to my skin color, which is not JUST white bread, it is like bread bleached in cream cheese, it's like a blinding, flourescent-light-shoved-up-your-eye-socket white, a white that will never get darker no matter how many times I TRY to dance my sweet small-town behind like a black ghetto booty can or tan or rub dirt into my skin--well actually i can't say that one, I've never tried it--but you get the POINT! And I do not shame in my skin color or my race. I am far from it! I am white and nerdy and you couldn't do anything to changeme! I have never had, nor will ever want to be something I am not except for, maybe, in times of EXCRUCIATING PAIN. And let me tell you honey, not being able to sleep for three nights or painlessly wear a bra is wearing me down.
     I have a sunburn--a sunburn as red as the Kool-Aid man. A sunburn almost the whole length of my back, but, my dear readers, it FEELS like a football field. IT HURTS when it comes in contact with ANYTHING. It hurts to lean back, lay down, turn around, run, wear a bra, or even stand with good posture!
     And I understand the concept of sunscreen, I do, I swear, I even put some on on the said pool day that led to this disasterous yucky pain. I will admit however that, though I should be for the sake of my skin, I am NOT a sunscreen extremist. I am not one that thinks about it all that time or that has a stop watch for my effing suncream, because sunscreen is gross and oily and I hate having it on my skin and clogging my pores and I want to ENJOY MY LIFE not worry about things. And so, on this day, in this cranky sleepy mood, with this paper-skinned back, I am done. I HATE being a redhead and I HATE having pale skin, in this moment, for this one thing. I am done.
      In the future I will remember this and be more careful, I will sunscreen it up, and maybe make a dance that is called "Das Einschmieren Tanz". Sunburns make things complicated and painful and not fun. I don't want them, but being a sunscreen nazi doesn't make anything enjoyable either. I will try my very best and hopefully find the balance that makes my life the most convenient to enjoy. Thank you for reading my silly rant about myself and my superficial mistakes. Have a pleasant day and week.
Love, Deni