The redhead has been brainwashed...

        I mean it in all seriousness. You know that post I did a few days ago about earworms?..... Well this is worse. If you are a parent or an onkel or aunt or older brother or sister you will know what I am talking about when I say:
             I HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED BY BABY BOOKS.
        You know what I'm talking about. That one or those couple books that your child/little sibling loves. the one you have read 6324593874596230475092834759734 times a billion and counting to them?
         The brainwashing began in my earlier days as an aunt in which I loved to read to nephew. It was a distraction technique and became a loving short colorfully drawn literature. I would sit on the floor, legs crossed as he plopped down comfortably in the crevice between my knees and because this tiny baby boy (that I miss so dearly as I describe this) was still so tiny, I would set my head over his shoulder and whisper the secret codes that built stories into his smiling ears. He would always sit in awe throughout the story (unless it was boring in which case he would throw it on the floor or skip to the last page as I attempted to read) and then clamber up to retrieve another vollume from his tiny book shelf.
          The first book I memorized was "I am a Bunny" by Ole Risom (which is a very funny name). It began "I am a bunny. My name is Nicholas. I live in a hollow tree. (next page) In the spring I like to pick flowers. (next page) I chase the butterflies and the butterflies chase me." and so on. Once was never enough for this book. Oh no. In fact the story was so inexhaustable that I must have read to him no less than 5 times within each sitting, over and over. Elijah read many books this way and as he grew older they changed and he would point and began to say the words. But around this stage I left leaving him with a small stuffed black bear with a brown nose that was later dubbed "Deni-bear".
          But in losing my nephew in physical presence, I got a hostfamily baby sister. Reading to her was barely different aside from the fact that the majrity of the books were in German. And it was with me again. In the midst of the day i will find myself needing to tell someone about Bär und Tiger und die Tigerente (Bear and Tiger and the Tiger-duck, the characters of a popular children's author Janosch) or I will recite "Wenn kleine Tiere wütend sind" (when small animals are angry) to a passerby. There is, however, a strange difference between our fairy tales at home and the fairy tales of Janosch and, in discussing it with my host family, we have found no other explanation but that the great artist Janosch was most likely high when he wrote these books 
             I'll give you an example. My host family sister's favorite book to read with me is called "Wie der Tiger lesen lernt" (How Tiger learns to Read) (You can click here to read the original text with me in german). At a certain point in this book we always read a part that in english is something like:

"My father is a clown, but my father says 'I am a bear, I am a bear!' and my mother calls 'Come, let's play bear and tiger', my father is the bear, my mother is the tiger.... My mother calls 'I am a Tiger, I am a Tiger.' and springs upon my father. My father laughs and growls like a bear. Then my mother starts to sing!"

           For the life of me I don't understand how any of the book fits together at all, but I mean, whatever maybe you have to be high to understand perfectly.
           Or how about "Das große Vorlesebuch" (The Big Book for reading aloud) in which the first short story is about a man who calls himself Birdman and catches bird because he is jealous of their freedom and ability to fly. In the last few paragraphs of the story he is granted a wish by the the King of the birds to be a bird and, because he wasn't specific enough, he is turned into a penguin. Then, because the Birdman lives in the desert and penguins need fish to survive, he dies and then years later the scientists find proof that there was once water in the desert because a penguin had lived there. AND THAT IS IT! He just dies and is (false) scientific data! Like, what the heck?!
             There are of course normal german kids books, it just seems that Janosch has pretty strange ones sometimes, no idea. but anyway, I love you guys, hope you don't stumble upon any brainwashing books (or do I? (do blogs count?))!!!
              THE ADVENTURES OF THE REDHEAD TO BE CONTINUED............